Ways You Can Help Prevent Domestic Violence in your community

Published on May 01, 2025

Do you know someone who is being abused? Or maybe you just want to do something to help those victims, but don’t know where to start?  Let’s talk about how you can help!

Did you know that approximately 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men experience some form of physical violence from an intimate partner in their lifetime; A significant portion of domestic violence cases go unreported. According to the National Crime Victimization Survey, only about 52% of domestic violence incidents are reported to the police. This means that almost half of all domestic violence incidents are not reported to law enforcement.

Below are steps to help stop domestic violence in your community.

1.              Know the signs. Domestic violence can happen to anyone—Any race, gender, age, sexual orientation, religion, or economic status.  Domestic violence can appear at any stage of a relationship. Here are some red flags an abuser may exhibit at any point in a relationship:

2.              Don’t ignore it. See or hear something, say something!  Domestic violence is not a private matter, call the police if you think that someone is being abused, most times victims of abuse will not call for help because they are already fearful of their abuser; Just remember by calling for help, you may save a life.

3.              Be supportive. If a victim confides in you, remember that it can be very difficult or embarrassing for a victim to talk about the abuse, be supportive, and listen without judgment. Ask how you can help.

4.              Be available. If someone you know is thinking about leaving or is in fear the violence will escalate, be ready to help. Have an escape plan with this person, and safety planning in place, please keep in mind that leaving an abusive situation is the most dangerous time. The abusers may feel like they are losing control of the situation and may do anything to prevent the victim from leaving.

5.              Check in regularly. If a loved one or friend is in danger, reach out regularly to ensure his or her safety, being a victim of abuse, can feel very lonely and isolated, victims need encouragement that they are not alone. 

Here are more tips on how to help:

Do:

• Approach the person at a time and place that is safe and confidential.
• Start by expressing concern, such as, I am worried about your safety, I am concerned someone is hurting you.
• Take the time to listen and believe what they say.
• Communicate that you care about their safety, that they do not deserve to be hurt, and that the abuse is not their fault.
• Tell them they are not crazy. A person who has been abused often feels upset, depressed, confused, and scared. Let them know that these are normal feelings.
• Tell them good things about themselves. Let them know you think they are smart, strong, and brave. Their abuser may be tearing down their self-esteem.
• Respect their choices.
• Encourage them to build a wide support system. Help find a support group or encourage them to talk with friends and family.
• Be patient. Self-empowerment may take longer than you want. Go at their pace, not yours.

Don’t:

• Do not accuse, diagnose, or judge their choices; do not draw conclusions about what they may be experiencing or feeling; and do not judge or criticize their abuser.
• Do not pressure them to leave the abusive relationship. There are many reasons they may choose to stay. Their abusers may have threatened to hurt them or their children if they tried to leave. The abuser may control all their finances and may have isolated the victim from friends and family, leaving them with very few resources of their own. The abuser may have promised to change, and the victim may still love them. It is never as simple as encouraging a victim to “just leave” but communicate to them that help does exist, and that people in their community care about them and their children and want them to be safe.
• Do not feel the need to be an expert. Do not try to provide counseling or advice but do connect them to trained people who can help.
• If the person you know is in an abusive relationship and needs safe shelter or a professional to talk with, encourage them to call local and statewide resources:

Ø 24-hour National Domestic Violence Hotline at: 1-800-799-7233

Ø Crisis Center of Northern New Mexico (Espanola): (505) 753-1656

Ø Esperanza shelter (Santa Fe): (505) 473-5200 or (800) 473-5220

Ø CAV Taos: (575) 758-9888

Ø Los Alamos Victim Assistant: (505) 663-3511